I can't believe how quiet it is. This morning, a girl asked me if I had heard about the 4 suicide bombers hiding out in Ramallah. I immediately dismissed it as BS, which it probably is. About an hour ago, while working on a webpage to help prepare other would-be volunteers, one of the building's caretakers came in and told me to make sure I had some things. The Israelis are coming.
And that's how I got to be in the street.. walking to get my things with my brother. I guess we were the last to hear. Nobody was in the street, which was busy just 24 hours prior. Not just nobody, but nothing. It seems that even the rats know when to hide.
Some people are absolutely sure that the Israelis are coming tonight -- there is a column of tanks at the outskirts.. Some people are absolutely unsure. As for me, I don't know what I am. It barely matters. Whether the Israelis come in or not is almost completely irrelevant at this point. I can't sleep tonight. Nobody can. It is as though we collectively hold our breaths, hoping for the best.
It feels much like the night before a big snow storm. A part of me thinks it would be nice.. nice to have an excuse to miss deadlines.. nice to take a little vacation. And a part trembles at the costs of my little vacation.
I can hear the whir of my laptop's fan with deafening clarity. I don't think I've ever heard it before.. And now, when I shut it off, there will be nothing, and I will sit on my bed and wait for the army to knock on my door. "Ah. I was expecting you." I'll say.. and then I'll be relieved. Not because of the little vacation or the dead people.. Because at least I'll know something for sure: they're here.
tarek