We're now on the way back to Ramallah. This morning, we woke up to news that a bombing had claimed 17 lives. That's quite a number, even by Israeli-Palestinian standards.. It didn't mean that much to me, though.. What really worried us was that Sharon had visited the site of the bombing. This has never happened before. He has sent deputies and various public figures, but Sharon himself has never gone.. He said something to the effect of "We'll learn 'em".
I guess that's why I'm here, and not in Gaza. There are few internationals left in the West Bank, and none in Ramallah. After a siege, the usual trend is for an instant falloff as people get away from Ramallah and go to other parts of the country to see what else is up.. I'm sure most, if not all, are on their way somewhere right now. One of the biggest decisions that we had to make was where to go.. The most related question to that decision was that of where the bomber came from.. The "usual suspects" will no doubt be hit, and as such were our first choices.. Jenin.. Nablus.. But from what we hear, thems aren't places where we can help. In Jenin, ambulances are fired on regularly.. In Nablus, much the same.. Both Jenin and Nablus are far enough away from the public eye to make such actions both acceptable and sustainable.. Not Ramallah..
I am now reflecting upon my time in Gaza, short as it was.. There are many differences between Gaza and Ramallah.. Perhaps the most important is the effect of the public eye.. Because the public eye is on Ramallah, the day after a siege ends, the population makes short work of the remnants: glass is swept; rubble is cleared; the garbage is taken away.. Gaza is different in a most peculiar way that I can barely understand, let alone describe.. The people there, perhaps more than any people I have met in my limited travels, truly feel there is no hope..
I'm thinking back now to our host, a young family man of no more than 35. We spent almost a full day with him as he introduced us to various NGOs and their work. We even went to an abandoned beach-front cafe and had tea together.. And yet, I can't remember him smiling.. Not even a little.. His face made actions resembling a smile.. formalities, really.. But a smile.. A moment of woes forgotten.. I didn't see that.. Not like in Ramallah or Jerusalem or Arroub..
Our host is a broken man who represents Gaza's lost generations. He does not fear death as in most of the West Bank.. No. Instead, he fears life.. He struggles through life every day, no doubt wondering why and what he can do to change it. I cannot even begin to describe the dejection.
Some of the people we met claim that our host has received over five thousand internationals in the past 20 months. Modestly, he brushed the number aside as hyperbole. I think that means he's met more.. And yet, for some strange reason, something about us seemed to be affecting him more than usual. From here on in, I speculate: The other internationals all represent a world that he cannot begin to imagine, though he himself studied in the United States. They are people born foreigners to foreigners. Some come for thrills, others for some ideological belief that will soon die. Not us, though. We represent a very real possible alternative. We are what would have happened if he was a Palestinian with a Canadian nationality..
Despite his heavy involvement with internationals, our host was very surprised by how easily we were able to traverse the checkpoints. When asked by those to whom he introduced us, he was sure to add that we had left Jerusalem and arrived Gaza on the same day. On occasion, he would muse about a life in which he could do the same until another of our hosts would summon him from the outer space such an idea clearly represented..
God, how we talked politics. I apologized, as I often have on this trip, for our presumption and lack of understanding. Much unlike before, however, one of the men - a head of one of the larger human rights NGOs here - told me to mute the apologies.. "We maybe understand less than you." What a thought. Never before had I even entertained the notion that I was more politically in tune than a person 30 years my senior.. But I guess that's the beauty of the Middle East: Its politics make babies of us all..
Well, off we go.. Word on the news just now is that the whole West Bank is locked down.. Here's hoping we can be of some use..
tarek : )